A Letter to My 2019 Self

Dear 2019 Abdullah,

I know where you are right now. A small room. A desk that barely holds your laptop. A phone with barely enough data to load YouTube tutorials. You're earning 6,000 BDT a month at a job that has nothing to do with web development, and you're starting to wonder if this whole "freelancing" thing is just a fantasy.

I'm writing to tell you: it's not.

The Rejection Doesn't Define You

I know you're still carrying the weight of those 16 university rejection letters. I know you enrolled in Botany just to have a student ID, and that every time someone asks what you're studying, something inside you shrinks. I know you feel like the world decided you weren't good enough.

Here's what I need you to hear: those rejections didn't disqualify you. They redirected you. The path you're on right now — the one that feels uncertain and terrifying — is the one that leads somewhere those universities never could have taken you.

The Grind Is Not Wasted

Those 12-15 hour days you're putting in? Rebuilding websites from scratch just to learn? Watching the same PHP tutorial three times because it didn't click? None of it is wasted. Every single hour is building a foundation that future you will stand on.

You're going to build something called GrewDev. It's going to become a real agency with a real office and a real team. Clients from the United States are going to trust you with their businesses. You're going to earn more than $100,000. I know that sounds impossible from where you're sitting right now, but it's true.

The First $292 Will Change Everything

There's a week coming — during Ramadan 2021 — when everything changes. You'll send a proposal on Upwork that actually lands. Then another. Your first real paycheck will be $292 for a week of work. You'll show it to Abbu and Ammu. The pride in their eyes will make every sleepless night worth it.

Hold on for that moment. It's closer than you think.

The Hard Part Isn't Over

I won't lie to you — 2023 is going to be brutal. An accident will take you out for months. You'll lose clients. You'll miss a semester. There will be a period where you wonder if everything you built was just luck.

It wasn't luck. And you'll prove it by rebuilding. Again.

What I Want You to Know

You are not behind. You are not a failure. You are not defined by which university accepted or rejected you. You are defined by what you do when nobody is watching, when nobody is paying, when nobody believes it will work.

Keep going. Keep learning. Keep sending those proposals. Keep building websites at 2 AM when everyone else is asleep. Keep believing that this tiny desk is a launchpad, not a dead end.

Because it is.

With everything I have,

2026 Abdullah

P.S. — Buy Bitcoin. Just kidding. Sort of.